Introduction

So, someone suggested you listen to this podcast. And before you dedicate 12 hours of your life to this series, you want to know what you’re getting into.

Don’t worry — I understand.

This podcast is a documentary-style series that asks: why do women drop out of the workforce to become health coaches, yoga teachers, and personal trainers? And is making your body into your brand as empowering as it’s made out to be?

In this introduction to the podcast, I lay out the genesis of this podcast and the frameworks and assumptions on which it rests:

It has been more than two and a half years since I recorded my first interview for this podcast, and in that time, a lot has changed.

The scope expanded. I found more voices that needed to be heard. I sought out academics and people who were studying related cultural phenomena.

Trump has been in office for more than half of his term. The internet has become more politicized. Corporate brands have developed personalities and now spend their times roasting one another and, weirdly, capitalism on Twitter. We’ve begun having conversations about democratic socialism. Feminism has become a slogan for T-shirts.

I’ve twice dropped out of the workforce out of frustration and rejoined it out of desperation. My podcast guests have transitioned -- genders, jobs, ideologies. And I’ve only begun to scratch the surface in the 40+ hours of interviews I conducted while constructing this audio documentary.

My goal is to give you the information I wish I’d had before I tried my hand at dropping out of the workforce to become a wellness brand -- in the form I’d wish I’d had it delivered: a story.

As a former health coach, as a person who has recovered from an eating disorder, as an advocate for Health at Every Size and Fat Acceptance, as a gender non-conforming person who was raised female, as a white, straight-sized person in a heterosexual relationship, I come to this topic with a certain perspective. I have attempted to cover this phenomenon as fairly as possible, while also keeping in mind how my own experiences -- both positive and negative -- shape the narrative I’m sharing about attempting to start a body-based business.

This podcast can’t possibly cover all of the nuances of the situation in one season. What you will hear in Season One is a story that focuses on women in and around the middle class. I’m not purposefully leaving out the stories and voices of the economically disadvantaged, immigrants and the undocumented, but rather to present one slice of the story as fully as possible.

You’ll also hear from a lot of straight-sized, white, cis-, and heterosexual women, not because their stories are more important than anyone else’s, but because that particular identity category is ground zero for researching the phenomenon of the health and wellness brand. You can throw a rock and hit a white woman who has attempted to quit her job to become a yoga teacher. That said, this does affect more than just thin, straight, white women -- sometimes in more insidious ways, so you will also hear queer people and women of color and of size sharing their experiences on this podcast.

I have done my best to keep the language of this podcast inclusive while also taking into account the specific niche I’m covering. Since I can’t know where on your journey you are and what your frame of reference is, I hope you’ll find it helpful if I lay out my own ideologies and frames of reference:

I use the word “women” a lot in this podcast. This is a shorthand for “women-identifying people.” I include in this category trans women, nonbinary and gender non-conforming people who have been raised as women or who identify as or have been treated as though they are what our society considers a woman.
I believe very strongly in Health at Every Size -- and I am an advocate for Fat Acceptance. If you don’t know what either of those two phrases mean, I encourage you to look them up.
I am a recovered anorexic, orthorexic, and exercise addict. There is one episode that specifically discusses eating disorders. I will do my best to alert you to possible triggers through content notes.

If you’ve ever been seduced by the idea of leaving your desk job to teach fitness or monetize your mom bod through MLM, this podcast is for you. If you’ve ever given your money -- or your attention -- to fabulously healthy-looking influencers because you wanted to be more like them, this podcast is for you. If you’ve ever felt like the next diet or fitness program was going to change your life -- and that you needed to document and monetize your transformation on your social media platforms, then this podcast is for you.

This project has been a passion of mine for almost three years. I’m leaving corporate marketing again -- this time, though, instead of trying to start a wellness company, I will be returning to school in the fall to pursue a PhD centered around this very topic: I want to bring to light the reasons why women-identifying people value their bodies so highly -- and why they want to -- and do --get paid by other women for that valuation.

We’re not going to change the system overnight, but change starts with awareness. And I look forward to taking you with me on this journey into the underbelly of the flat belly and the not-so-healthy heart of the health and wellness world.

Welcome, to Your Body, Your Brand.

Transcript

Sarah Vance 0:06

We still don't get paid what I believe we're worth

Tiana Dodson 0:06

I had secretly been wanting to try health coaching

Carrie Ingoglia 0:06

women have been dropping out.

Andi Zeisler 0:08

Your body is the next frontier of liberation.

Stefani Ruper 0:12

You have to monetize.

Sarah Banet-Weiser 0:13

We buy into this idea that anyone can do this

Victoria Ferriz 0:16

your body becomes proof.

Kelly Diels 0:17

whether or not we're trying to sell a service or product all women are brands

Brenda Swann 0:17

Now I'm a health coach.

Kaila Tova 0:26

My name is Kaila Tova, and this is your body your brand introduction.

In 2012, at the ripe old age of 26, I got my first corporate job. I am a millennial who graduated college a year early and at the height of the recession in 2008. So even though I've been freelance writing, and editing since I was 18 years old, it took an extraordinary amount of effort to find and secure stable work. I had spent a miserable year as an overworked and underpaid high school teacher at a Community High School. After leaving that job. For a short stint in academia, I spent several years in retail so when Silicon Valley came knocking, or at least finally accepted one of my desperate resumes Well,I answered the door.

Kaila Tova 1:26

For the first few months at my fancy Silicon Valley Human Resources technology startup, I was extremely optimistic. I was also extremely naive. I quickly learned that despite my entry level title and my intern level pay, I would be doing senior level work and working from 5am to 11pm. It was not ideal. During my two plus hour commute to and from the city each day, I started listening to podcasts about entrepreneurship, coaching and passive income. And when I finished those episodes, I listened to podcasts from my favorite health coaches and personal trainers. And then I got a job at a gym. Although I ultimately chose to stay at my corporate gig after the threat of leaving led to a pay raise the promise of trading my cubicle for a place at the squat rack loomed large in my consciousness. In fact, whenever things got particularly stressful at work, I'd escaped to the gym, the yoga mat or spin class to work out my frustration find community and know that I could excel at at least one thing in my life. So here's one thing you have to know about me. I have been a true exercise addict for the majority of my adult life. Since medications and I don't mix well I've had to use exercise to cope with depression and anxiety. The thing is, there's a fine line between coping and self harm. And because exercise is so highly valued in our society, I was often rewarded with praise for engaging with my inner demons. In fact, from the time I first began engaging and eating disordered behaviors at the age of 13, I was considered healthy and therefore good by people who previously would not have given me the time of day, a lifelong dork with a few close friends, I gained a renewed sense of self worth and identity from the ability to restrict my calories, lift heavy weights and run through pain and injury. And though the details of my story are personal, to me, my trajectory toward believing that my body equaled, my value is in no way unique.

Kaila Tova 3:28

And that I suppose, is where our story starts.

throughout Western history, women have primarily and traditionally been valued for their bodies, where women could not sell goods or ideas like men, they asked for value by selling the only resource they had their bodies, from prostitute to Princess. The gendered female body has always been a product. It could be traded for currency or for the things that currency could buy, like food and shelter. As such, we've been psychologically conditioned to accept that this narrative that the body is value is truth, and we've perfected the performance of body as product and service, clothing, makeup, etiquette, adornment, anything that reminds people of our value, though we may not have had the word for it until contemporary history, women's bodies are and have always been their brands.

A few weeks ago, I took a spin class while on vacation in Florida. When I walked into the studio, the class regulars were nice enough, but they didn't really pay attention to me, which is what I would expect. I was the new girl after all. One the women was greeted by the other regulars with the sort of reverence and all when she arrived, someone asked her with an era of already knowing the answer. Are you going to win today, she faked humility, everyone knew she always wanted. The spin bikes were hooked up to a central computer and the class was run on some complicated formula involving heart rate zones. So I tried to ignore the numbers and just focus on the teachers barely intelligible instructions. By the end of the class I had, according to the spin teacher, somehow one and winning involved beating the woman who was supposed to win. An hour later after going back to my hotel and showering and preparing for the day. I was walking past the studio on the main drag downtown when I heard an awful commotion. Someone was honking and shouting. And this being Florida I ignored the noise until someone turned to me and said, I think she's honking at you. She was it was someone from class. She was honking and yelling to people who were eating bread at the restaurant on the corner. That's the new girl. She crushed it in spin class this morning. Go new girl.

Go new girl. Indeed.

From an early age, women are taught to build community around the business of the body. Through this currency, women learn how to relate to one another. The conversation around the body economic often starts with a transfer from mother to child don't eat that you'll get fat. And throughout the teenage years and into adulthood. Women build friendships on the trade of diet, nutrition and weight loss tips. You look great. What are you doing? Often these conversations happen without an explicit nod to the economics underpinning the preoccupation with the body. Throughout history women have for all intents and purposes been considered property. And in order to maintain its value that property required upkeep and yet today with the term empowerment now a household word and with the concept of gender having more broadly unhinged itself from birth anatomy, many will tell you that a week long juice cleanse or a 30 day fitness program is not done out of a desire to attract sis gender heterosexual men but out of self love or as a desire to better oneself. Sometimes with no mention whatsoever of the implicit socialized anxiety around needing to sell the body to potential mates, or to retain the mate to whom one is already quote unquote sold themselves. Such a focus on saleability, implicit or explicit impacts women's vision of themselves within a capitalist system. Yet, postwar economics and the feminist movement allowed women a financial shift in perspective. From 1962 to 2000. Women's labor force participation in the US increased from just over one third to just under two thirds, which most likely decreased women's sense of economic anxiety and gave rise to the women can have it all mentality of the 70s and 80s. Once in the workforce, women could in many instances begin to provide for and rely on themselves. However, that perspective shift only influenced women's ability to see themselves in the workplace. It did not replace the internalized message that trading in the currency of weight, health and fitness was a way to gain social capital. In the years since the second wave of feminism, the implicit connections between upkeep of the body and health and economic anxiety were not really explored in mainstream popular culture. As a result, women continued to build and seek social capital around the trade of health, Diet, Fitness and beauty information without really explicitly understanding the roots of the body economy.

In 2010, after several months in what I now realize was an abusive relationship. I became severely physically and emotionally ill. I had been following a bodybuilders diet and exercise plan as not so subtly prescribed to me by my abuse of x. But instead of seeking help, I chose to drop out of graduate school and get certified instead, as a personal trainer. You see, I chose to drop out because I knew that graduating with a degree in theater would make my life harder. But in our wellness obsessed culture, there would always be a job for a personal trainer. I did eventually recover from what would be diagnosed as an eating disorder and learn how to exercise in moderation. But the specter of a career and wellness did not fade from my consciousness. As I mentioned, while working at my nine to five, sort of nine to five startup job, I got certified as a holistic health coach by the Institute for integrative nutrition, and I threw myself into constructing an online business business from five to nine. I thought the coaching would set me free, which is why after four years and more than $20,000 spent trying and failing to build an online Wellness Business, I was disappointed to realize that it was time to quit. Since my recovery in 2010, I had been a personal trainer and a bodybuilder, a vegan and hot yoga devote a and a Paleo Diet blogger with a modest following and a fairly well respected podcast. through all of that I worked, but by 2016 I was burned out. My marketing job I realized was a dead end. The eating disorder recovery and body image coaching niche was crowded everyday seem to bring another Paleo Diet cookbook and coach to the spotlight, yoga had become a currency among Instagram influencers. several friends were pursuing personal training certifications, co workers were showing up to the office on restrictive smoothie based diets that they'd purchased from friends. The Institute for integrative nutrition was churning out holistic health practitioners faster than Maria Leo's B school could sell them an expensive marketing training package. And instead of wanting to make a profit from any of it anymore, I just I wanted to know why. By September of 2016, I announced the end of my eating disorder recovery and intersection of feminism podcast finding our hunger, and I started booking interviews for your body your brand.

Initially, I wanted to discuss marketing, hustle, culture and body image with a few friends who were also frustrated with the way that the internet encouraged us to use our bodies as currency online. But the more I chatted with podcasts guests, the more I realized that there was a lot more going on. It has now been more than two and a half years since I recorded my first interview for this podcast. And in that time, a lot has changed. The scope expanded, I found more voices that needed to be heard. I sought out academics and people who were studying related cultural phenomena. Trump has been in office for more than half his term. The internet has become more politicized. Corporate brands have developed personalities and now spend their times roasting one another and weirdly roasting capitalism on Twitter. We've begun having conversations about democratic socialism and the end of neoliberal capitalism. feminism has become a slogan worn on T shirts. I've twice dropped out of the workforce out of frustration and rejoined it out of desperation. Many of my podcast guests have transitioned genders, jobs, ideologies, and I have only begun to scratch the surface in the 40 plus hours of interviews I conducted while constructing this audio documentary. My goal is to give you the information that I wish I'd had before I tried my hand at dropping out of the workforce to become a wellness brand in the form in which I wish it had been delivered a story as a former health coach as a person who has recovered from an eating disorder as an advocate for Health at Every Size and fat acceptance as a gender non conforming person who was raised female as a white straight sized person in a heterosexual relationship. I come to this topic with a perspective, I have attempted to cover this phenomenon as fairly as possible, while also keeping in mind how my own experiences both positive and negative shape the narrative I'm sharing about attempting to start a body based business, this podcast can't possibly cover all of the nuances of the situation of one season. What you'll hear in season one is a story that focuses on women in and around the middle class. I'm not purposefully leaving out the stories and voices of the economically disadvantaged immigrants and the undocumented. But rather, I'm presenting one slice of the story as fully as I possibly can. You'll hear from a lot of straight sized white cysts and heterosexual women, not because their stories are more important than anyone else's. But because that particular identity category is ground zero for researching the phenomenon of the health and wellness brand, you can throw a rock and hit a white woman who has attempted to quit her job and become a yoga teacher after all. That said this does affect more than just then straight white women, sometimes much more insidious ways. So you will also hear queer people and women of color and of size sharing their experiences on this podcast. I've done my best to keep the language of this podcast inclusive while also taking into account the specific niche that I'm covering. Since I can't know where on your journey you happen to be and what your frame of references. I hope you'll find it helpful if I lay out my own ideologies and frames of reference. One, I use the word women a lot in this podcast. This is a shorthand for female identifying people. I include in this category trans women, non binary and gender non conforming people who've been raised as women are who identify as or have been treated as though they

are what our society considers a woman, too. I believe very strongly in Health at Every Size, and I am an advocate for fat acceptance. If you do not know what either of those two phrases mean, I've really encourage you to look them up before you begin listening to the podcast. Three, I am a recovered anorexic Orthorexic and exercise addict. This is no a podcast about eating disorders, but we will touch on it. There's one episode that specifically discusses eating disorders and I will do my best to alert you to possible triggers through content notes. If you've ever been seduced by the idea of leaving your desk job to teach fitness or monetize your mom bought through MLM This podcast is for you. If you've ever given your money or your attention to fabulously healthy looking influencers because you wanted to be more like them, This podcast is for you. If you've ever felt like the next diet or fitness program was going to change your life and that you needed to document and monetize your transformation on your social media platforms, then this podcast is for you. This project has been a passion of mine for almost three years, I'm actually dropping out again, I'm leaving corporate marketing. This time though, instead of trying to become a wellness brand, I'm actually returning to school to pursue a PhD centered around this very topic. I want to bring to light the reasons why women identifying people value their so highly, and why they want to and often do get paid by other women for that valuation. Well, I'm at the University of Wisconsin Madison, I'm hoping to talk to more people about this very topic. I'm interested in hearing your story regardless of who you are, where you come from, and what your economic statuses. So I really encourage you to reach out and please send me an email at your body your brand at gmail. com or please record and send a voice memo to that same email address sharing your story with me. I'm especially interested for research purposes to talk to women of color, women of size queer women, including trans women and non binary people, sex workers, immigrants and also I would love to talk to men if you have an eating disorder muscle dysmorphia, or you've decided to drop out to become a wellness influencer, I'd like to talk to you too. I'm also really hoping to speak to some wellness bloggers and online personalities who are in recovery from their eating disorders, or who have relapsed well, wellness blogging, but continued their online presence despite their eating disorder. I'm really happy to take those interviews on the condition of anonymity. But of course, even if you don't fit those categories, I would still love to hear from you. Look, we're not going to change the system overnight. But change starts with awareness. And I look forward to taking you with me on this journey into the underbelly of the flat belly and the not so healthy heart of the health and wellness world. Welcome to your body, your brand

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

Kaila PrinsJuly 7, 2021